Disappointment

 

“Wow! That was good! How do you do that?”

 

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you”

 

“Is it because you’d get chucked out of the magic circle? Would you anger the elders of magic? Would you be banned from gigging again? Would David Blaine come round and egg your house?”

 

“Yeah”, *chuckles awkwardly*, “something like that”.

 

The truth of the matter is, none of those scenarios are true. 

 

The magic circle wouldn’t care (actually, I haven’t paid my subs this year, so chucking me out would be pretty darn tricky). 

 

The elders of magic don’t scare me. Doddery buffoons. Probably blocking the aisles in Aldi in front of the cheese counter as we speak. 

 

Nothing’s stopping me gigging (Oh, except of course a global pandemic leading to all parties being cancelled. Bummer). 

 

As for David Blaine? Bring it on. I’m not scared of you. Or your eggs. 

 

The truth, I’m afraid, is a lot more banal. 

 

If I told you how I did it, you’d actually just be terribly disappointed. 

 

You see, most magic tricks are just tricks* Nothing terribly magical about them. 

 

*With the exception of the third trick of my second set. That actually is real.

 

Don’t know how it’s done? You’ll find yourself in a child-like state of awe and wonder. Transported back to a time when the impossible was possible, and the limits of your imagination knew no bounds. 

 

Given the secret? Child-like awe vanishes. Instead of feeling joy and magic, you’d be left with a deflating sense of crushing disappointment. 

 

(You will notice that when I’m shamelessly self promoting, I often mention the child-like awe. Offering to leave your wedding guests with a deflating sense of crushing disappointment gets rid of bookings faster than a global pandemic)

 

Allow me to demonstrate. 

 

Look at this video of the classic linking rings. 

 

Reasonably magical isn’t it. 

 

It is until you find out that one of the rings has a gap in it. Look carefully at this picture and you should spot it.

 

Properly pisses on your chips, doesn’t it. Child-like awe to crushing disappointment in just 5 seconds. 

 

And look at this. The rubber band trick.

 

Again, looks magical right up to the point when you find out that one of the bands has a gap in it. See?

 

As if your chips weren’t pissy enough already.

 

To conclude…

 

I’m not being secretive. I’m just protecting you from crushing disappointment.

 

And if you clicked on  this blog expecting wit, charm, insight and depth, you’ll know exactly what that feels like.