Sep 30 2018
Everyone loves a bargain.
And, even though I like to think that close up magic is a bit of a luxury purchase, I feel I need to appeal to the bargain hunters out there who would like some quality astonishment but balk at my “arm and a leg” prices.
So, for the thrifty amongst you, allow me to present my three new special discount offers.
The “fishing for likes” discount
I went right off social media recently. But then again, it has it’s uses. Facebook is pretty good for getting reviews and bookings. Even for promoting “piss poor” blogs like this. It’s just I’m not very good at it. My posts are disappointing. And my page doesn’t have many likes. If you’re Facebook savvy, have plenty of gullible friends and questionable morals, then this discount code is for you. I’ll give you 1% off my extortionate prices for every like you can muster for my page. Yep! Seriously. Get 50 mates to like “Jack Strange Magician” and I’ll do a gig for a leg. (You can keep the arm). Enter the voucher code, “NEEDYGIT” when you make a booking to claim the discount.
The “Burrito” discount
I do love a bit of Mexican street-food. (I like to pronounce it “Mehican”. I watched Speedy Gonzales as a kid. I think I know how to sound authentic). Anyway instead of paying an arm and leg for magic, I will do an hour of close up magic for as many burritos/tacos/enchiladas/fajitas that me and my mate Gary can fit into our fat faces in one hour. Feel lucky? Go on – voucher code “PAYWITHCHILLI” Note to prospective customers – please leave at least one hour between payment and performance. May need a nap. Note to Gary – I’m banking on you here mate. We could be quids in.
The pre-BGT discount
So, on more than one occasion, a pished bridesmaid has said, “You’re dead good at magic you are. You should go on Britain’s got talent”. And, instead of sensibly thinking that it was just the Prosecco talking, I only went and did a bloody audition. Now, I know the chances of getting through are slim. The chances of Simon being off his tits on Prosecco in the live show are even slimmer. However, I’m feeling cocky enough to assume I’ll fly through to the live finals. And, if I get a little bit of national publicity and the bookings come flying in, I’m planning to double my already extortionate prices (To two arms and two legs!). So, if you’re planning a party for next year, why not book me now and effectively get a “half-price” bargain.
(Yes, the thought has dawned on me that I might get through as one of the entertainingly poor contestants. And then get ridiculed on national telly. And have to halve my prices. Thus making a total mockery of this book early idea. Yes. In hindsight, this offer is a bad idea all round)
So, to conclude. You can have a cheaper gig if you pander to my neediness. And that advice I read to blog every couple of weeks if even you’re low on material has certainly sunk in.