Can You Make my Wife Disappear

Of all the questions I get asked when performing magic, “Can you make my wife disappear”, is by far the most common.

It’s rare for a magic gig to pass without it being asked at least once. It’s especially common at weddings (though rarely from the groom). Now vanishing ladies is all well and good, but it’s really not my thing. For a start, it requires a large box and ideally a stage. I pride myself on being able to fit my entire close up act in my pockets, so this is not going be terribly practical.

In my early days of magicianing (note to self “look up magicianing and see if its a real word”), I would find myself apologising for my lack of props and trying to distract them from their disappointment with some pocket sized astonishment. This worked to a point.

Then, I stumbled on an amusing comedy patter.

“Yeah, I can do that. But it’s messy. And it’s costly. Meet me by the bins in 30 minutes, and bring a photo.”

Oh, how we all giggled! That patter served me well until….

Some guy came back! “Where were you? I was waiting ages. I’ve made some phone calls, I can get the money, this is the most recent picture I’ve got”.

Well, that threw me I can tell you. What went from a throw away line of comedy gangsterness (note to self, while you’ve got the dictionary out, look this up too), to a genuine hit offer. Well as you know, I’m a very moral man. I earn a crust performing magic, and to bump spice off (note to self, “spice” seems a good plural of “spouse”, but I’m not convinced – check it before publishing this blog), while I should be astonishing crosses the line of professionalism.

So, I’m delighted to announce www.StrangeWifeDisposal.com. A totally discreet and above board sister company which can take care of your problems. It was clear to me there was a gap in the market, and my entrepreneurial streak just couldn’t resist the challenge.