The “ck” is Silent

A while ago, I was listening to a couple of friends having a conversation in a slightly too loud pub. To avoid embarrassment, I’ll call them Pete and Geoff*.

Pete: “I think I’ll invite the lads round this weekend to play cards. I’ll get some port in”

Geoff: “I’ve got some you can have if you like. I’ve got secretary or lesbian”

Pete: “I was planning to get Cock Burns**”

Geoff: “Sorry, that’s a little niche for my tastes”

A little background noise (and a slightly dodgy pronunciation) and suddenly, the whole meaning of the conversation goes down a totally different path.

“Hey Jack”, I imagine you are screaming at your computer/phone/handheld tablet device, “Your blog is supposed to be a thinly veiled advert for your magic services, and not some whimsical series of anecdotes about misunderstandings”.

Good point, and well made too. Allow me to continue (to the thinly veiled self publicity!)

Recently, I’ve found myself performing at parties where the presence of a band or DJ has made it a tad awkward to fully comprehend the subtleties of conversation.

“And here sir, stuck to the bottom of my shoe is your card – the eight of spades. I thank you!”

“No you misheard, I said the ACE of  spades”


And more embarrassing, hearing

“yes, please join us. We’d love to be astonished by your unique brand of close up magic, have a seat”, when what was actually said was

“Sod off, I’m trying to pull this bridesmaid, and you turning up with your unique brand of close up magic isn’t helping”.

You can see the problem.

Solution 1 is a little diva-ish. Insisting the band/DJ pipes down for an hour so I can do my thing undisturbed.

Solution 2 is what I opted for instead. I’ve been working on VISUAL magic. The kind of thing that works even if few words are spoken (or shouted!). Can you imagine how cool it looks to see a playing card ripped up into four separate pieces, then magically restored? It’s very cool indeed! It’s on my latest repertoire and it still astonishes if you can’t hear the patter. I’ve put together a number of equally astonishing tricks that will all work wonders when a party gets loud. I’m afraid I can’t go into more details here as it would ruin the surprise (or denouement) should you end up seeing them.

*Those aren’t their real names. They are really called Dave and Gary.

** Apparently, it should be pronounced Co-burns